The following is a leaked press release about a hot new upcoming Sega title.  It’s also 100% serious.  Really.

Sega of Europe Ltd. and Sega of America Inc. announced today Sonic and the Roman Empire exclusively for the Wii.  This new installment of the Sonic storybook series will cast Sonic the Hedgehog into ancient Rome, where players will see if they have what it takes to become a true Roman champion, Roman gladiator, Roman emperor, or whatever marketing buzz word gives this game the most hype.  Sonic will battle wild barbarians, Roman rebels, and any other enemies that Sonic Team thought looked the most interesting on Wikipedia.

Exclusive screenshot of Sonic and the Roman Empire

The Sonic ensemble characters that everyone knows and loves will be making appearances.  The following cast members have been confirmed:

Miles “Tails” Prower as Marius, the Great Man of the Army
Knuckles as Trajan, the Kind Hearted Soldier
Shadow the Hedgehog as Caesar, General, Politician, and Statesman of Rome – Caesar/Shadow’s murder scene will be included at the request of fans.  By the way, if you didn’t want the game spoiled, don’t read that sentence.
Dr. Ivo Robotnik Eggman as Hannibal, Carthaginian General
The lead game developer as Nero, the Mad Emperor, who will reportedly fiddle while Sonic Team makes this game

Sonic and the Roman Empire will take place in breathtaking Roman locales of dubious historical accuracy, rendered with Dreamcast-level graphics on the Wii.

A Sega executive, who spoke on condition of anonymity, praised Sonic and the Roman Empire. “After the success of our Sonic Storybook series, we are excited to take this franchise in new directions.” The source said while somehow keeping a straight face. “We see a lot of potential in placing a blue rodent in several arbitrary mythological or historical settings.”

Unconfirmed reports state that a preorder incentive by Gamestop will come with a booklet detailing games that you could better spend your money on, as well as more productive ways for Sonic Team to spend money.

If you had the chance to play Need for Speed: Shift, EA has seen fit to reintroduce the Need for Speed series to Ferrari.  EA announced in a press release that a Ferrari downloadable content pack will be available for Shift starting on Februrary 16.  Ten sleek Ferrari cars as well as 46 Ferrari specific challenges can be yours – the only caveat is that it’s an Xbox 360 exclusive.  That being said, 360 owners can enjoy this package for 800 Microsoft points, or $10.

The cars that will be available are as follows:

1. 1996 Ferrari F50 GT

2. 2005 Ferrari F430 Spider

3. 2005 Ferrari FXX

4. 2005 Ferrari Superamerica

5. 2006 Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano

6. 2006 Ferrari F430 Challenge (Online/Quick event only)

7. 2006 Ferrari F430 GTC (Online/Quick event only)

8. 2007 Ferrari 430 Scuderia

9. 2008 Ferrari California

10. 2008 Ferrari 16M Scuderia Spider

These are are all sure to endear themselves to car fans; as someone who isn’t necessarily a car enthusiast, I was drooling just a little looking at the 2005 Ferrari FXX.

Well, paint my house.  Electronic Arts announced today that it’s been a whopping ten years since the release of the original The Sims on PC back in the year 2000 when the Dreamcast was beginning its slow descent into obscurity, StarCraft was the height of RTS gaming, and PC gaming still mattered the Tribes series was the coolest thing to play with your friends (for me, anyway).

It’s still hard to believe we’ve come a full ten years since then.  In ten years we’ve witnessed The Sims 2, console versions, too many sequels to even begin to count, and finally The Sims 3.  We’ve seen the evolution of one of the biggest franchises in video game history, and having had the fortune to review the third game The Sims has grown up into a graphically proficient, diverse, opportunity-laden world where an entire town is at your disposal, even if I didn’t initially have the sci-fi setting I loved so much.

The Sims is just one example of the enormous changes in gaming companies, franchises, and trends we’ve seen over the past decades, but even by that standard it’s a notable one.  Throw a party in your Sims’ villa or take them out to town to celebrate.  Happy birthday, The Sims!

Given Activision Blizzard’s history with developing the Guitar Hero brand, many were foretelling a sequel to DJ Hero.  Lo and behold, Bobby Kotick has confirmed DJ Hero 2 in a Game Informer interview.

This might come as a surprise to some, given that DJ Hero failed to meet initial sales expectations owing to the hefty price tag and lack of group multiplayer that Rock Band has.    What’s also worth noting is Kotick’s comments regarding some of his rather controversial remarks in the past.  He described DJ Hero as “innovative” and said that ”It’s going to be less games, better games.  That’s our strategy.”

This was actually a gratifying read for me.  I would personally love to see a sequel to DJ Hero work, perhaps even with better support from guitars and microphone peripherals.   It’s nice to see an emphasis for quality over quantity, especially after a product wasn’t the mega-seller investors might have been hoping for.  We’re holding you to this promise, Bobby – don’t let us down!

Mass Effect was one of the first games I ever reviewed, and I loved it.  I’ve been following news about Mass Effect 2 pretty closely (having already posted about Subject Zero’s unveiling), and they’ve managed to hit a new level of crazy with the character of Samara.

Meet Samara.  She’s cool, calculating, and a ruthlessly effective biotic.  She’s the opposite of Liara in just about every way.  She even looks like she could be an asari Matriarch.  Something tells me it’s going to be a lot of fun having her in your squad.

This leaves two open character slots in Mass Effect 2 for the total of ten.  Now that BioWare has covered deadly assassins, psychotic mercenaries, sociopathic biotics, and calloused scientists, one can only wonder who the next two people to join Shepard’s squad are.

This feels like the perfect post with which to resume updating, since a fairly nasty crunch of essays caused me to put most of my personal life on hold.  Meet the newest addition to my shelf:

I’ve been waiting for the Slim to come out for a while, partly because I like the design much better and also because I’m rapidly running out of shelf space.  Prior to this, I’ve had a standard PS3 on “extended loan” from a friend who lost interest in his, but I’ve handed that off to him since there are some games coming out he’s interested in.  I even took advantage of that Best Buy two for one offer to pick up Uncharted 2: Among Thieves and LittleBigPlanet.

Gamespot happened to mention the other day that nine years ago this week the PlayStation 2 launched, at the time sporting a mere 24 titles – the console has certainly come a long way when one looks at the vast library it has now.

The PlayStation 2 has continued production long after dwarfing its sixth generation competitors, the GameCube and the original Xbox.  Whether or not the PS2 will step back from the liemlight any time soon as more games are released for its successor is an open question, but for now, let us pause and reflect on how far we’ve come from since 2000.  Happy 9th, PlayStation 2, and thank you for providing us with games like Final Fantasy X, God of Wars I and II, the Ratchet and Clank games,  Shadow of the Colossus, Grand Theft Auto III, Vice City, San Andreas…yeah, it’s a pretty big list.

EA released an announcement today revealing that Tyler Bates will be composing the music for Army of Two: The 40th Day.  Why is that so cool?  Bates’ track record includes the soundtracks for 300 and Watchmen, as well as Watchmen: The End is Nigh.  Consider what he says in the press release.

“THE 40^TH DAY is one of the most intense games I’ve seen,” said Tyler Bates. “The setting, characters and action in the game provided me the perfect backdrop to create an equally intense and dramatic score that complements the gameplay.”

We’ve certainly seen how Bates’ music can augment action scenes, so it will be interesting to see how he composes action music for The 40th Day accordingly.  Given this recent announcement and Bates’ enthusiasm for the upcoming game, I think it’s safe to bet that there will be at least one “This is Sparta” dub over Army of Two gameplay.

Right on the heels of Dead Space Extraction, the sequel to survival horror limb-slicing fest Dead Space is slated to begin development soon.  Fans of the first game can rejoice, since an EA job listing confirms that this is the real Dead Space 2, rather than a spinoff or a different project.  The same “core team” that worked on the first game will be developing this one as well.

Mass Effect fans got a treat from this year’s Tokyo Game Show.  A new squad player was confirmed in a fairly hardcore video.  Meet Subject Zero: Shaved head, body full of tattoos, a great liking for guns and biotics, and just a bit sociopathic.

So just to recap, the three new party members are as follows.  Thane is a cool headed and ruthless drell assassin reportedly the deadliest in the galaxy.  Grunt is an irrationally violent krogan who will go wherever there’s stuff to kill.  Now we have Subject Zero.  I think we’re in for a wild ride.