Back in 2008, I reviewed Fable II and enjoyed it immensely. I also happened to run into a quandary game critics can experience: Running into a big glitch after publishing the review. I don’t mean clipping through a tree or even a big game breaking glitch, oh no. I mean one of the most bizarrely hilarious glitches I’ve ever encountered in my 18-odd years of video game experience, and this is coming from someone who logged dozens of hours into Goldeneye. Frankly, this was so funny I wasn’t even sure I would have marked the game down for it.
One uneventful evening, I decided to log in and see how much money I had accumulated due to my empire of real estate in Albion. I clicked on “New Game” by accident, but something happened. Rather than hearing Theresa’s matronly voice informing me that “…And so our story begins”, I heard a different voice. I heard a deep, throaty, evil voice announce loudly “…AND SO OUR STORY BEGINS.” It sounded curiously like the voice of Jack of Blades from the first Fable game, or possibly Reaver’s voice if it were lowered by several octaves.
By this point, I was perplexed, but thought nothing of it. I loaded my game, thinking it was a mere anomaly. I thought wrong; I loaded just outside of Bowerstone right next to a traveling trader, who greeted me in the same deep, evil voice. It took me a full several seconds to get over my shock as I meandered towards Bowerstone. A city guard advised me to “STAY OUT OF TROUBLE!”, which seemed more threatening than courteous with that demonic voice. What was going on? Had a malevolent demon overlord become the voice of Albion? I had to find help!
I entered Bowerstone, and I was greeted with bits of chatter: The same Demon Door-esque voice seemed to have taken all of Albion. My initial thought was to reboot the game, but a moment later, I realized how dull that would be. So I decided to go about life in Albion ruled by one collective evil voice. A devil-voiced blacksmith complimented my hammer and anvil skills. A sinister sounding trader thanked me profusely for my purchases. I received a round of applause for my ability to flex my muscles. Finally, there’s something undeniably funny about a woman proclaiming “I would like to be your wife!” in a gravelly demon door voice.
Eventually, I just rebooted the game from the Xbox 360 dashboard, problem solved. This still sticks out in my mind because it goes far beyond your usual annoying glitch. This was a bug that not only did not interfere with the game (too badly, anyway), but made it absolutely hilarious to play, even if it was just for five minutes. I won’t even try to comprehend how a glitch like that happens, but I enjoyed the ride; I just wish I had been able to record the spectacle. It’s difficult to do it justice in words.
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